


Romangers One-Shots Series

by wisdomblackorchid2_0



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Romanogers - Fandom, Steve Rogers - Fandom, Stevenat - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), captasha - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23510986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomblackorchid2_0/pseuds/wisdomblackorchid2_0
Summary: Just a series of one-shots focused on Steve and Natasha. :)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 10
Kudos: 121





	1. Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote some of these a while back. Just decided recently to finally post it here :)

It’s finally over. The days of them being fugitives were over and they were back home, in the Avengers Tower, enjoying the things they have missed in the past several years --- comfortable beds, which they don’t have to share anymore, good coffee, hot shower, and the company of people who didn’t want their heads on a plate to serve to Ross. 

As a trained spy, paranoia had been ingrained in Natasha since she was young. It was something she wasn’t exactly proud of it but was something she was grateful to have, especially that it proved to be very handy when they were on the run. And for the first time in a long while, Natasha finally relaxed, she finally can close her eyes, lower her guard a little bit, and shut off her senses for a good night’s sleep. 

When she plopped herself on her bed again on the first night they were back, she almost cried at the feel of the silky sheets, the fluffy pillow, and soft mattress. She wouldn’t miss those sleepless nights they had on their makeshift cots on the quinjet’s floor or on those squeaky and filthy mattresses of fleabag motels they hid in. She wouldn’t miss any of those, except for one. 

Steve lying next to her.

During those times when Wanda was away for weeks to secretly spend time with Vision, Natasha, Steve, and Sam would rent a motel room within at least a five-mile radius from where the super-bot and witch would meet. And since they were strapped for cash, they could only pay for one room. With her training from the Red Room, Natasha didn’t have too much inhibitions, so sharing a room with two guys wasn’t a big deal for her. But it was --- for Steve. 

The first time they checked in a motel, the room had two twin-sized beds. Naturally, Natasha had one of the beds to herself while Steve and Sam shared the other. 

_“Are you sure?” Natasha asked, her eyebrow raised and her arms crossed on her chest. She looked at Steve and Sam standing by the foot of the bed, staring at its size._

_“Yeah,” Steve said, sounding optimistic. “As you know, I’m very nimble.”_

_Natasha laughed._

_“Just don’t make it weird, man,” Sam joked. Sam plopped down on the bed, making the springs squeak in anger underneath him._

_“You know, he’s seen Brokeback Mountain,” Natasha teased._

_Sam’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked at Steve with jaws dropped and saw him with a proud smirk on his face followed by a casual shrug of his shoulders._

_“That wasn’t weird, Nat, you know that. That was love,” Steve matched Natasha’s teasing then turned to Sam, “She made me watch it. I didn’t get it at first, but I did, eventually. Yeah, I think I got it.”_

_Sam laughed out loud and Natasha winked at Steve with pride._

_When Fury told her to babysit Steve and help him adjust to the modern world, she took the job seriously. She knew Steve’s education had to go beyond catch up in current affairs and introductions to pop culture, and that it included orientations to changes in human norms,. So she used every teaching tool she could get her hands on, including movies. During downtime in between mission they binged-watch TV series, did movie- marathons, from classic ones, cult favorites, to dumb, loud, weird ones that confused the shit out of Steve._

_That night, after putting up their regular nightly security measures and checks, they went to sleep. Well, Steve tried. Falling asleep wasn’t a problem for Sam, but staying asleep was. So despite the muscle cramps, Steve spent most of the night trying to lie still so as not to wake up his friend. At one point he managed to turn to his other side, stopping for a second when Sam shifted a little, too. When Sam became still again, Steve fully turned to his other side, facing Natasha’s bed._

_“You two look cute there… snug like two bugs in a rug,” Natasha whispered with a teasing smirk on her lips. Steve mouthed ‘shut up’ at her and she stifled a laugh. She then sighed silently and quietly looked at him again. Steve gave her one of his dopey smiles that she always found comforting. It was her reminder that they were okay, that things could have been worse but weren’t because she was with her friends._

_Natasha pulled up her covers and gives Steve an inviting nod. Steve’s eyebrows raised in question. Still holding her covers up, she slowly moved further in the bed to show Steve that there was more room for him there than where he currently was. Steve hesitated for a moment. But then Sam turned again that Steve could feel his friend’s breath on the back of his neck. Steve shuddered and slowly got out of their bed then tiptoed towards Natasha’s. He slipped under the covers and lied on his back. He looked at Sam and smiled to see him sprawled, face down now and all over the bed. He then turned his head to Natasha and found her green eyes staring at him._

_Natasha smiled softly then whispered, “good night, old man.”_

_With one last smile she turned to her other side to face the wall, her back to Steve. In less than ten minutes, they were both asleep._

_Over the succeeding months, Wanda and Vision’s secret meetings became more and more frequent. Natasha didn’t fully approve of it but she felt sad for Wanda. It seemed like it was Wanda’s sole source of respite amidst the starkness of their situation. So despite the risks and dangers, against her better judgement, agreed to it and even convinced Steve to let Wanda go, with the condition that they would follow her and stay at arm’s length. Sam was more than happy to agree, too because it forced them to stay in motels in towns more often where it kind of became an unsaid arrangement already among the three of them that Natasha and Steve would share a common sleeping space and Sam would have one all for himself._

_“Hey, it’s a win-win for all of us,” Sam teased them one time._

And so now, even though she’s safely back in the facility, in her own bed, in her favorite pyjamas, Natasha still couldn’t sleep. She kept tossing and turning, the empty spaces on her bed making her anxious, more anxious than those nights on foreign lands and dirty motels. Natasha knew why but she didn’t know what to do. Actually, she did know what to do, she just wasn’t sure if it was right. She took deep big breaths as she stared at the ceiling. The clock’s ticking seconds hand echoed in her ears, making her even more restless. She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched her sheets. 

“To hell with it!” Natasha exclaimed, her voice determined. She pushed her covers away, slipped on his fluffy, furry slippers and walked to her door. Surrendering to her heart’s desire, she opened her door and stepped into the hallway.

The hallway was dark and still. She slowly walked towards the door at the end of the hallway and stood in front of it for a moment. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath then raised her hand to knock on the door. But before her fist came in contact with the wood, the knob turned and the door swung open, revealing Steve on the other side. He was in a shirt and shorts, his hair tousled at the back of his head, and his eyes looked tired. He let out a short gasped to see her there but one look at her green eyes and he knew. 

If walls truly could talk, then the walls of their rooms would have the same story to tell.

Natasha held her breath, lowered her hands and stood there, trembling a bit. Her nerves were shaking, her knees wobbling a bit, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She looked up at Steve and gave him a soft, embarrassed smile, hoping that she didn’t need to utter any words to explain her presence there. She sighed a huge relief when Steve broke the silence.

“I know. Me neither,” Steve said with a shy smile. 

He opened his door further and held out his hand to her. A huge, pleased smile crossed Natasha’s face as she took his hand and followed him inside. The moment the door shut close, Natasha’s doubt, whether it was wrong or right, disappeared. All she knew was that nothing else seemed to matter every time Steve’s arms would drape around her and that all the worries of the world just vanish whenever she pressed her cheek on his chest because all that she could is his heart beating, lulling her away into bliss.


	2. What Happens in Wakanda, Stays in Wakanda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha finally found the courage (and opportunity) to be intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first try to write something other than fluff, but still not on the explicit side. I’m not good with that kind. Haha! I’m not sure if Steve really was a virgin throughout but it just seems to be a sweet idea that Natasha’s his first. Also, I wrote this a while back, right after Infinity War was released. Sorry, just created a my AO3 account now.

Not many know it, but during their years in hiding, Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Wanda often visited Wakanda. It was almost a year into running that Steve’s burner phone first rang. It made all of them jump and tense. The first person that came into Natasha’s mind was Tony. But it wasn’t. A tinge of disappointment pinched her heart.

“You highness,” Steve said on the phone. 

Just like Tony, Steve sent the King of Wakanda a burner phone that stored only his number, with a note that said for ‘emergencies and updates on Bucky only’. Natasha braced herself as she waited for the conversation to end. Her disappointment was now replaced with worry for Bucky. She knew that T’Challa wouldn’t risk that phone call if wasn’t big or if the news wasn’t revelatory. And one look at Steve’s face after he hung up was enough to confirm her theory. 

Steve’s eyebrows were furrowed almost throughout his conversation with T’Challa and then halfway through it his eyes widened and his jaw tensed for a moment. After his surprise subsided, nothing was left on his face but anxiety. He took a deep breath.

“They’re putting Bucky out of his cryo,” Steve said, his eyes on the quinjet’s floor. 

“Are they sure it’s the right time?” Sam asked.

“We wouldn’t know unless we try, Sam,” Natasha said. 

Steve looked at her with a soft smile, thanking her for her support, not just for him but for Bucky as well. They have grown incredibly close and Sam and Wanda didn’t have to ask or poke around to know that something has stirred and was growing between the soldier and the spy. 

“We need to be there. T’Challa was hoping I could be there when Bucky wakes up,” Steve said.

The three nod in agreement and understanding. In less than an hour, the quinjet emerged from a canopy of trees that was serving as its camouflage for the past month and then glided into thin air heading south. The coordinates T’Challa gave them led them to a secret entrance to Wakanda which made sense considering their status. Steve knew how much of a risk T’Challa was putting himself into and he would forever be grateful to the king. 

********************  
Two days after their arrival, Steve found himself face to face with his best friend again. It took a few moments for Bucky to gain his bearings. He opened his eyes, stepped out of the cryo with a mixture of confusion and fear on his face. Only when he saw Steve that his face lit up and a small smile of relief crossed his lips. They gave each other hug and the catching up began. 

Even before arriving in Wakanda, Steve found himself having mixed emotions at the thought of seeing and talking to his friend again. And as he and Bucky spent time, Steve discovered why he was anxious all this time. He was ecstatic that Bucky finally remembered everything from their childhood and the war but on the other hand, Steve was also devastated that Bucky would forever be haunted by the memories he amassed as HYDRA’s assassin. 

But Shuri reminded them that regaining Bucky’s memories wasn’t THE problem, it was freeing his mind from HYDRA’s control by removing his trigger words. She told them that it was possible but it would take time. At least the first part of that process was underway according to the genius princess, and that was Bucky regaining his mental and physical health. Steve thanked the princess for everything.

“We’re far from the finish line, Captain,’ Shuri said with a smile, ‘so I’ll accept your gratitude when we all get there.

Steve smiled back. At least Bucky’s on his way to recovery and that in itself was good news.

Natasha agreed. It was sort of a ‘win’ for all of them given their current situation. Steve realized he barely spent any time with Natasha, Sam, and Wanda ever since they came to Wakanda. As a matter of fact, he barely saw them because during the day he was with Bucky, either in the lab for some tests or around the palace grounds to catch up. Then during the night, after dinner, they all went to their own bedrooms. T’Challa made sure that they get the best lodging. It was the least he could do for them. Bucky felt bad realizing that he was keeping Steve from his friends.

“It’s okay, we’re actually sick of each other already,” Wanda joked.

“Nah, that’s not true,” Sam said then eyed Natasha and Steve with a knowing, naughty smile. Bucky noticed it. He looked at Steve and Natasha and saw them try to hide the embarrassment on their faces. Bucky’s face lit up in happiness.

“You know she can kill you in your sleep, right?” Wanda asked Sam.

“I know and I don’t care,” Sam said with a laughed.

Bucky clapped Steve on the shoulder, letting him how proud he is of his best friend. “She’s seems nice. Scary as hell, but still nice,” Bucky said later as he and Steve walked back to the lab. “Is it serious?”

Steve smiled shyly. “I don’t know, Buck. Taking it seriously doesn’t seem practical right now.”

Bucky understood what he meant and he wished things would finally take a positive turn so Steve and Natasha can figure things out. 

“Yeah, sucks. But still, spend time with them _here_. Maybe you two can finally talk about some things, iron out some details on whatever it is you two are doing before you guys leave.”

Steve saw sense in Bucky’s advice. So one day, while Bucky was back in Shuri’s lab for a whole day of tests and Sam and Wanda accepted T’Challa’s invitation to a tour the kingdom, Steve took the opportunity to spend time with Natasha. He was glad that Natasha declined T’Challa’s invitation. Little did Steve know, Natasha had the same idea as him. Whether he would find the courage to strike up the relationship conversation with her or not, he was more than happy to just be with her.

“So, no plans for today, huh?” Natasha asked him. 

They were in Steve’s room and as soon as the palace servant rolled in their lunch, Natasha turned on the TV and started flicking through channels. 

“None really. Thought I would just draw or read,” Steve replied absentmindedly as he flipped through his sketchbook to find a clean sheet. His sketchbook was worn out, its sheets almost spent. Natasha bought it for him during one of their grocery runs and Steve couldn’t have been happier. 

Natasha finally found a channel that piqued her interest and started watching in silence. She sat so still that Steve thought she fell asleep but when he looked at her, he hid a smile when he saw the intense curiosity on her face. Natasha was not known for her expressiveness so to see the creases on her forehead as she furrowed her brows and crunched her nose, her mouth slightly opened, either in confusion or disgust, Steve didn’t know, WAS a big deal. It was such a milestone moment that Steve decided to draw her. But halfway through his sketch, he changed his mind and decided to draw a more relaxed version of her. Natasha didn’t seem to notice all the quick, small glances Steve threw at her to get the angles and shapes on her face right. 

“Can I move now?” Natasha asked after what almost felt like hours of silence, well except for the sounds the TV made. 

Steve stopped and looked at her, startled.

Natasha shifted in the couch to face him and asked again, “Is my portrait done, Rogers? You thought I didn’t notice, huh?” She smiled.

Steve shook his head, chuckled, and made a few more shading on his piece. Natasha waited patiently and when Steve finally blew some eraser and charcoal crumbs away, she stood up and sat beside him on the couch. 

Steve handed her his sketchbook and what she saw made her heart skip a beat. It was her alright, or at least she immediately recognized the same shapes she always saw on the mirror. But as she stared at it longer, she felt her insides flutter, her heart swelled in happiness, and her vision started to blur as tears brimmed her lower eyelids. 

Steve saw it all. He saw the huge smile on her lips when she looked at the portrait for the first time but then it slowly disappeared and was replaced with sadness. He suddenly felt a knot in his stomach, thinking he did something wrong. He started thinking of something comforting to say when tears formed in her eyes and suddenly, he didn’t know what to do anymore. Over the years, he got used to Natasha’s flirting, teasing, stubbornness, occasional bitchiness, that he learned to handle those with witty responses, sarcastic comments, or equally teasing quips. But if there was one thing he hadn’t mastered dealing with yet was her vulnerability. So to see her shed tears in front of him terrified him. For once, the man with the plan was caught off guard. 

"Is this what you see when you look at me?” Natasha suddenly asked him, her eyes still glued on the drawing.

“Yes,” Steve replied confidently.

Natasha shook her head. She had always seen herself as a hard, cold, cynical person. But the woman on the paper was nothing like her. The lines on her face was soft, her lips were curled into a caring smile, and her eyes bore through Natasha’s green ones, showing her a beautiful soul that Natasha didn’t recognize as her own. She looked at him. “This isn’t me, Steve.”

Steve smiled at her and said, “I can’t draw something I haven’t seen before. That’s who you are, to me.”

For a few seconds, they both didn’t say anything. They just stared at each other, reading, gauging each others’ emotions. Steve decided not to hide it anymore. He long realized that he cared for her, that his feelings had progress beyond friendship. It was a truth, a feeling he had not dealt with since Peggy and he realized it was the only solid, good thing in his life ever since waking up from the ice. 

What Natasha saw in Steve’s eyes scared her. She knew what his eyes were telling her and it was the last thing she expected from anyone, especially from him. She has looked into men’s eyes before but none looked back at her with such affection. Not even Banner.

“Steve,” Natasha’s voice trembled. But before Steve could reply, Natasha’s lips were on his. He wasn’t able to respond immediately out of shock. It wasn’t until Natasha was on his lap that he opened his mouth to kiss her back, struggling at first to keep up with her deep kisses, but eventually found their rhythm. He held her by the hips and gently traced the curves of her body all the way up her face and stopped, cupping her cheeks in both hands. Natasha pulled away. 

Steve opened his eyes and felt his heart beat even faster because for the first time, he saw Natasha outside her stonewalls. She opened up to him, exposed her true self, and allowed someone to see her _truly naked_ for the first time. Steve gently stroked her cheek with his thumbs, wiping away the trail of stain her tears left. He pulled her face closer and placed soft, gentle kisses on her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, and trailed down to her chin, jawline, and neck. 

“Natasha,” Steve said, pulling away from her neck, his breath deep and raspy. The heat of the moment made his cheeks fluster but now, they’re burning red. “I, I --- want --- I mean --- if we can --- that is --- if it’s okay --- you know, with me.”

At first Natasha didn’t understand him, with all the heavy breaths and stammering, but noticing the extra blushing of his cheeks, the timidity in his eyes, the softness in voice, and the growing excitement from where she was sitting, she finally understood and couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you, sweetheart,” she said softly. 

She took a deep breath, caressed his face with her fingers, and looked deep in his eyes. She saw desire, fear, innocence all at the same time. She didn’t feel worthy. “Are you sure? With me?”

A soft smile lined his lips then he nodded. 

“Then take me to bed, Rogers,” Natasha whispered, her voice more calm and her signature teasing smile back on her lips. 

“I haven’t ---”

“I know,” Natasha comforts him then continues in a sultry tone, “but trust me, you’ll know what to do.” 

“O---kay?” Steve replied but still somehow sounding unconvinced. 

He looked into her eyes as she gently stroked his hair on the back of his head. The intensity of the earlier moments were ebbing away and he suddenly felt afraid that he ruined the moment. But the thoughtful smile on Natasha’s face put him at ease. She didn’t seem to take offense from his sudden hesitation, as a matter of fact, she was patiently waiting for him, just putting the anticipation in simmer but ready to boil again any second. She continued her gentle strokes on his hair, then on his shoulders and back, calming him down. 

“Any tips for me?” Steve finally managed to ask with a dopey, boyish grin on his face.

Natasha’s smile widened and replied, “Let’s see. Even when you hear me scream, don’t stop --- unless I say so.”

“O---kay,” Steve replied with a worried voice.

Natasha cupped his cheeks, leaned her forehead on his and added, “And don’t forget to breath.”

Of course, it wasn’t until the end, when he gently fell on top of Natasha, putting his full weight on her, that Steve understood what she meant by those things.


	3. Be With Me - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time Steve saw Natasha was at the hangar, electrocuting T’Challa, distracting him so he and Bucky could escape. That’s been almost a year ago and it has been a struggle without her. He missed her terribly but he knew finding the Black Widow under the circumstances would be difficult. Then finally, he received one of the calls he has been waiting for --- Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how the upcoming Black Widow movie will tackle/ handle Natasha’s reunion with Steve before Infinity War, so this is just my idea. Writing fanfic is kind of a mental and writing calisthenics for me so I just had to write this one down for my own peace of mind. Hope you like it!

It’s been almost a year since Steve left Bucky in a cryotube in Wakanda. It’s been almost a year of him, Sam, and Wanda playing hide and seek with Ross’ men. It’s been almost a year without Natasha by his side. And he had to admit it has been a struggle. Of course he didn’t say it out loud nor act like it because he knew how much Sam and Wanda depended on him. But deep inside, Steve was grasping at straws. 

He didn’t know much about being a fugitive and the logistics that come with being one. All he knew was things would be much easier if it was just him but no, he had two other lives to take into account. Not that he didn’t want Sam and Wanda around, but he had to remind himself that the two were in this situation because of him, because they chose to follow him and the least he could do was look after them now. 

His emotional stress was so evident in his eyes. It could have easily taken a toll in his physical body but thanks to his serum, he didn’t have to worry about that that much. So his eyes bore all of his internal struggle. They were dim and often staring at something far away. His mind wandered off to a lot of things that he started neglecting some of his usual routine like shaving every two days. He just woke up one day and suddenly felt what a task shaving was, so he stopped. When Wanda started to notice months ago how unkempt he looked, Steve simply made an excuse that a fully-grown facial hair was a handy disguise. 

Aside from the logistics of everything, Steve’s heart was also weighed down by his ruined relationships. He and Tony never met eye to eye with a lot of things but Steve still believed that at the heart of everything Tony does was the greater good. So he cannot truly despise the man even if he didn’t agree with most of Tony’s logic and methods.

Then there was Natasha. 

He had to admit, Natasha’s decision with the accords felt like a knife in his heart. But he cannot be angry at her, really, nor at anyone who stands up for what they think is right. It pained him to see her at the other side of the battle line but they both made their choice and they had to see it through. He didn’t want to leave her at the hangar that day. He actually believed that if T’Challa didn’t catch up with them, Natasha would have jumped in the jet with them. But Natasha put herself in the line for him and Bucky. She was his shield. 

He sent Tony and Nat a phone each and while he didn’t expect Tony to be calling him anytime soon, he thought Nat would take a little risk to check up on him especially after their prisonbreak at the raft. But no, nothing from her. No phone call, encrypted email, nor a coded message. And as the months passed, the more bothered and puzzled he became. He tried telling himself not to worry because she’s at the compound anyway, continuing their work and just probably didn’t want to take a risk now that she’s working closely with Ross. Besides, he had Bucky to attend to. Two weeks ago, the princess called them back to Wakanda for the last test before they can declare Bucky one hundred percent free from his HYDRA programming. 

Steve told Shuri that he wanted to be there for this because he didn’t want anybody else getting hurt should they need to neutralize Bucky. So heart pounding and muscles tightening, Steve started to slowly recite the triggers words as best as he could while Bucky waited inside a containment pod made out of pure vibranium. Okoye and the king’s guard surrounded them, Sam and Wanda stood ready by Steve’s side, the latter’s fingers steadily glowing red. Steve watched as Bucky readied himself too for whatever was coming. His Russian wasn’t that bad so the words would still work if Shuri’s work on Bucky’s head was a bust. Good thing the princess was a genius, even more of a genius than Tony, if Steve was being honest, because after he uttered the last trigger word, he saw Bucky ease up, put a huge grin on his face, and two peace signs. Steve let out a huge sigh of relief. One less thing to worry about. 

That night they celebrated their victory and Bucky’s liberation from HYDRA with a small dinner. Steve was truly happy for his best friend but he couldn’t shake off Natasha from his head. He badly needed to hear from her. He badly needed her. He brought out his phone and flipped it open. It only had two numbers and he scrolled to Natasha’s name. His thumb hovered over the call button. 

“Still nothing?” Sam asked with concern.

Steve snapped out his thoughts and saw everyone was looking at him, including T’Challa. He shook his head and said, “Probably just doesn’t want to risk it.”

“What is, Captain?” T’Challa asked.

Steve sighed and decided to share his burden with them. It was getting too much for him to bear anyway.

“I sent Nat a burner and I was hoping she would have called by now. But still nothing. Maybe I should finally call her and see how’s she’s doing,” Steve said, not bothering to mask the sadness in his voice.

“Where did you send the phone again?” Sam asked.

“At her apartment in DC,” Steve said. “She drops there once or twice a month to keep her lease.”

“Why there?” Bucky asked.

“I figured after what Natasha did at the airport, Ross would have her closely monitored especially at the compound, including her mail,” Steve explained.

T’Challa walked over to Steve and breathed in before speaking. “I’m sorry, Captain, but there is a possibility that she didn’t get it.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked the king. 

“Before I followed you to Siberia, I told General Ross what Ms. Romanoff did,” T’Challa said, apologetically.

“What does that mean?” Wanda asked.

“Ross most probably sent his men to arrest Ms. Romanoff,” T’Challa said.

Wanda gasped and Sam placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Steve’s eyes fell on the floor. 

“I’m truly sorry, Captain for not telling you about it sooner,” T’Chall continued. “I wasn’t sure what Ross did after our talk and when you came back from the raft without her, I figured she’s alright.”

“It’s okay, your highness,” Steve said. 

“But she’s not alright,”Sam interjected. “Because if she is, she should have gone to DC as per her routine then found the phone there.”

“She probably just stayed at the compound, you know, to avoid further suspicion,” Wanda said.

Steve kept silent, avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

“I can check if you want,” T’Challa offered.

“Not if it would put your position with the Accords at risk,” Steve said.

T’Challa shook his head and added, “If Ms. Romanoff is in danger because of what I did, it’s the least I can do, Captain.”

Steve nodded in thanks before excusing himself. But instead of retreating to his room in the palace, Steve went to the quinjet. He opened the radios and listened to every frequency there was. He figured that Natasha might have indeed tried to contact him after all but through underground channels. But his heart sank to hear nothing but static. Out of frustration, he threw his headphones to the floor.

“Stop,” Bucky said.

Steve saw his friend enter the jet but kept staring at the radio.

“You’re thinking of worst case scenarios right now. Don’t do that,” Bucky continued. 

“I can’t, Buck.”

“You really care about her, don’t you.”

Steve looked at his right and straight at the weapons drawer with Nat’s name on it. ‘Romanoff’, the letters spelled. 

“I do,” Steve admitted.

He has admitted that to himself a long time ago but had to keep it to himself because Natasha was dealing with a broken heart at that time and him confessing to her wouldn’t do both of them any good. So he contented himself by simply being there for her. Banner vanished, Thor left Earth, Clint left active duty, and Tony stepped out of the game. But Nat stayed and for a while he couldn’t ask for anything else. Until the accords happened.

Bucky grinned at him with pride. Steve couldn’t help but smile back as his cheeks redden with Bucky’s knowing, teasing look. 

“I’m proud of you, pal,” Bucky said and clapped him at the back. “But I think something’s wrong with you ‘cause you always fall for the tough ones, don’t you.”

Steve had to chuckle at that. 

“Wait, what’s with that kiss then? With the blonde?”

“Nothing,” Steve said almost immediately. “Just something that was long over due. Nothing more.”

Bucky smiled in understanding and said, “Romanoff’s one hell of a fighter, Steve. I know that. I’m betting she’s is okay. And if not, then, I know she’s out there fighting to stay alive.”

“I wish you’re right, Buck.”

**********  
Three days later T’Challa arrived from a meeting with Ross and confirmed Steve’s fear.

“I’m afraid Ross sent his men immediately after my call,” T’Challa reported. “They arrived at the compound while we were on our way to Siberia.”

“Then she was at the raft, Steve!” Wanda yelled in panic. “She was there the whole time! We need to get her!”

“Calm down, Ms Maximoff,” T’Challa said. “She was gone by the time Ross’ men arrived at the compound. Stark tipped her off.”

“That’s why she couldn’t get to her apartment, Steve,” Sam surmised. “She knew that Ross had her known addresses staked out and couldn’t risk it.”

Sam and Wanda felt a little relieved.

“Yeah, which means,” Steve said with a sigh then continued, “she’s on the run, too.”

“At least now we know why she hasn’t reached out,” Bucky said. “It’s not that she didn’t want to, it’s just flat out dangerous.”

Steve tried finding comfort in what Bucky said but he couldn’t. He knew Natasha’s more than capable of taking care of herself but realizing that she’s on her own like in her pre-SHIELD days made him feel guilty. He knew how much Natasha worked her ass off to leave that life but it seems like Steve himself pushed her back underground because of his choices. But as much as he wanted to find her, he didn’t know where and how to begin. Besides, he was sure Natasha would be close to impossible to find right now, when their faces were on every kind of alert in over one hundred countries. She was that good at what she does. And this thought scared Steve because then there was a possibility that he’d never see her again. Unless she knew he’d been looking for her. But Steve was also clueless on how to make her know that.

“Got any idea how to find her?” Steve asked Bucky.

Bucky thought for a while but then said, “When HYDRA needed me to hunt someone down, I usually had something to begin with. An address, coordinates, something. But I think even if I had those info on her, she’d still be impossible to find. I think you know that, too, Steve.”

Steve nods in defeat.

“I’m afraid you’d only find her when she finally wants to be found, pal,” Bucky admitted. “All you can do right now is to trust her.”

Steve manages a smile and said, “I do, Buck, with my life.”

Steve tried to distract himself with other things in Wakanda. He, Sam, and Wanda would soon have to leave. They couldn’t overstay their welcome in the kingdom and put everyone at risk. They needed to leave so they could come back again. Bucky would stay of course, but didn’t need to go back in his cryo again, much to Steve’s relief. Instead, Bucky would try to assimilate back into the world and Steve was thankful to T’Challa for letting his friend do that in Wakanda.

Three days before they leave, Shuri, Sam, and Bucky worked on the quinjet, making sure it was fit for flight, while Steve and Wanda, with Okoye’s help, took care of their other provisions. Soon enough they have crates and boxes of food and supplies ready for loading. 

But that night, as Steve tried to sleep, his phone rang. He was so surprised to hear the ringing that he just stared at the phone on his night stand, unsure if it was really ringing or he was just hearing things. Then, finally coming to his senses, he snatched the phone and flipped it open without bothering to check who it was. 

“Hello?” Steve greeted, nervously.

But there was only silence which made Steve even more nervous. He removed the phone from his ear and looked at the caller ID. _Natasha._

His heart raced. He slipped out of the covers and sat by the edge of the bed as he intently listened to the other end of the call. The ID said Natasha but the phone could be compromised so Steve stayed silent too. 

“Hello?” Steve repeated, cautiously.

Then after a few beats Steve heard someone that made him cry in relief. Finally.

“Hey,” Natasha greeted back.

*********************************************************************


	4. Be With Me - Part 2

The next morning, Steve immediately prepared to leave. Alone. He talked to Sam and Wanda and asked them to stay put for a while as he went to see Natasha. Natasha didn’t say much over the phone. They just agreed to meet in person.

“I can’t let you go on your own, Steve,” Sam objected. “It could be a trap.”

“No,” Steve said firmly. 

“It’s possible Ross didn’t give her a choice,” Sam continued. “He could have threatened to bring in Clint if she didn’t comply.”

“No,” Steve said again.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked, calmly.

“Yes,” Steve said, confidently.

“Why?” Okoye asked.

It was Wanda who answered, “Because Nat would rather give herself up to spare anyone else.”

Steve looked at Wanda and smiled. It was nice that she seemed to know Natasha well by now.

“I promise, I’ll be fine. _We’ll_ be fine,” Steve said. “I’ll check in with you, don’t worry.”

Minutes later, the quinjet darted through and out of Wakanda airspace.

*****  
Hours later, Steve found himself roaming the streets of a country somewhere in Northern Europe. The coordinates Natasha gave led him to a quaint town near a sea. She also gave him coordinates where he can safely ‘park’ the quinjet. Then Steve used the electronic bike in the jet to get to their meeting place. The address he had was a 5-storey hotel with a cafe at the ground floor. It has several tables and chairs outside for some al fresco dining. Steve sat at a corner table and ordered coffee from a nice old lady in a cute apron. When she returned, she had his coffee in a to-go cup. Steve looked at her confused.

“Enjoy your coffee with a nice view at the rooftop, honey,” the old lady said with a knowing but warm smile.

Steve, familiar with Natasha’s methods, simply nodded in understanding and smiled with thanks before entering the hotel. After a couple of minutes he opened the access door to the deck and stepped outside, but stopped in his tracks to see the person sitting on the ledge. Her hair is different.

“Hi,” Natasha greeted him with a smile, which turned into a chuckle when she saw the surprise and question on his face. 

“The news said there was a red-head outlaw on the loose, so…,” Natasha joked and Steve finally recovered with a soft laugh.

He wanted to run and hug her but he decided to test the waters first. There were a lot of unsaid things between them before they parted ways a year ago and Steve didn’t want to ruin their reunion just because he said or asked the wrong things. So he just walked to her and join her at the edge of the deck. He put down his coffee and leaned on the ledge. He peered down and found the height enough to kill a man. Natasha was dangling her legs inside the ledge, much to his relief. He finally looked back at Natasha, who gestured to her chin, silently referring to his beard. 

“Oh, just trying something new,” Steve lied.

Natasha smiled and said, “I like it.”

“Thanks. I like that, too,” Steve said and pointed at her hair.

“No, you don’t,” Natasha said with a smirk.

“No, I don’t,” Steve said immediately and they both laughed. Finally, Steve relaxed but still unsure what to say. Natasha seemed to have picked up on it and Steve was grateful that she kept the conversation going.

“Thanks for coming. A part of me thought you’d wouldn’t,” Natasha admitted.

“Why would you think that?” 

Natasha just shrugged her shoulders and looked at the horizon. Steve followed her gaze and found a mesmerizing picture of the sun setting, giving off a glow that turned the sky in a beautiful blend of purple, pink, and orange. He tried his best to commit it to memory so he can try and draw it later. He looked back at Natasha. There was some distance between them and Steve wished he could close that. He didn’t want to simply go back to how they were, no, he wanted to move forward with his feelings for her. 

“How’s Sam and Wanda?” Natasha 

“They’re okay,” Steve said with a smile. “A bit grumpy sometimes, which is understandable given their circumstances, but otherwise, okay.”

Natasha laughed. It sounded so true that Steve felt his heart fluttered inside his chest. 

“Have you talked to Clint?” Steve continued.

“Yeah. We talked twice in the past year. I never heard someone so happy to be in house arrest,” Natasha said with a laugh again.

“Tony?”

Natasha’s laugh stopped but kept a smile on her face, “He’s fine, last thing I heard was him and Pepper moved upstate for a while, away from everything.”

Steve sighed. He probably would have teared up too if he wasn’t keeping his emotions in check. 

“I’m really sorry, Nat, I just ---,” Steve started but stopped when Natasha jumped down from the ledge and walked to him. She stopped right in front of him, no more than a foot away. He gravitated to her eyes.

“Steve, there’s nothing to apologize for. I’m not sorry about my stand on the accords. But --- _I am sorry_ that I disappointed you.”

Steve shook his head. Their gaze met and his heart started pounding in his ears. “You didn’t, Nat.”

He smiled to ease up Natasha who was now at the brink of tears. He immediately reached up to her face and brushed away a tear before it rolled down her cheeks. He felt a very nice shiver when Natasha held his hand in place and leaned on in his touch. Steve took advantage and brushed her cheek with his thumb. She didn’t let go of his hand and held it on her lap where she started to fiddle with his fingers. Steve couldn’t be any happier. He was a few steps closer to hugging her. He just had to make sure he played this right.

“So, how’s Wakanda?” Natasha asked with a coy smile that surprised Steve for a second. _Of course she knew._

He just chuckled and said, “Amazing. T’Challa couldn’t be more gracious. It’s hot, though. How about you, what have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing,” Natasha said. “Tried doing the right thing, you know, just like you.”

“And?”

Natasha looked down and focused on their hands. It took her a few seconds before answering, “Fought bad guys, blew up some Russian gulag, jumped from a helicopter, you know, the usual.”

Natasha was smiling but Steve knew from her tone and how she avoided his eyes, that she didn’t want to talk about it. So no matter how intrigued he was about the things she said, Steve didn’t probe. He just smiled and nodded in amusement as Natasha continued to draw circles on his palm. He looked at her, no, he stared at her and pretty soon Natasha felt it. She looked back with a fond smile on her face.

“Do you have to leave soon?” Natasha asked softly. There was vulnerability in her voice that startled Steve a bit.

“No, not really,” Steve replied.

“Good,” Natasha said, now in a happier tone. “I hope you don’t mind, I already ordered dinner.”

Steve laughed as Natasha half-dragged him back into the building. Natasha led him to her room at the fourth floor. The hotel wasn’t really big and a 3-star at best so Steve wasn’t surprised to see the room simple. All Natasha had with her was a backpack and a duffel bag that were sitting by the foot of the bed. She took out some clothes and went for the bathroom door.

“I’m just going to take a shower. Keep an eye for room service,” Natasha said quickly before disappearing into the bathroom.

Steve relaxed by the couch and turned the TV on. He thought of sending Sam a message but decided against it. Minutes later, Steve was ushering the hotel staff and two trolleys of food into the room. Steve noticed the question at the staff’s face at the amount of food he just rolled in. 

“I have a big appetite,” Steve just said and handed the staff his tip. 

After the staff left, Steve opened the trays and chuckled. They were all his favorite. He was putting the food on a small round table near the window when Natasha finally emerged from the bathroom, fully refreshed. 

“Thanks,” Steve said and pointed at the food.

Natasha sat down and said in a teasing smile, “Don’t I know how to please you or what?”

“You have no idea,” Steve teased back and sat down.

Their conversation during dinner was more relaxed. Natasha laughed out loud when Steve told her that Sam kept watching movies with fugitive characters hoping to pick up a trick or two. He also snitched on Wanda who secretly started journaling.

“Leave her alone, Steve,” Natasha said. “The kid has been through a lot.”

“I know,” Steve agreed.

“How’s James?” Natasha asked. “I mean, Barnes.”

“Bucky?”

“I’m not calling him that. That’s a silly name,” Natasha joked.

Steve laughed and said, “He’s doing great. Shuri finally removed the trigger words.”

Natasha smiled from ear to ear, pleased. “One less thing to worry about.”

Steve laughed. It had only been hours since he was reunited with Natasha and yet he has laughed more in those hours than in the last months combined. He wished they could just remain holed up in that hotel room, talking and laughing. 

By eleven, sleep crept in. Being the gentleman that he was, Steve settled on the couch. Steve wasn’t getting much sleep the past months. His senses were heightened almost all the time, even more so at night, especially when they were tucked away in some abandoned warehouse or forest. Of course all of the quinjet’s security protocols were up and running but paranoia always chased his sleep away. And tonight wasn’t any different.The possibility of Ross’ men suddenly kicking the door down wasn’t the only thing keeping him awake. He was dreading the morning. He didn’t know what Natasha’s plans were and to make things worse, he didn’t have one too. For all he knew, he might wake up tomorrow to find the bed already empty. 

This thought gripped Steve with panic. He sat up and looked at Natasha’s sleeping figure on the bed. Only, she wasn’t asleep either. Steve could hear her breathing. He debated with himself. This seemed to be his only chance. He couldn’t let morning come without telling her how much he cared for her.

Steve finally stood up and walked to the bed. He lifted the covers and gently slipped underneath, not wanting to startle her. As he was settling down, Natasha turned to her side. Steve laid on his side too and they were face to face. Steve mustered all his courage to look her in the eye. 

“What took you so long?” Natasha whispered, teasing him.

Steve reached for her hand and held it in the space between them. With her other hand, Natasha reached for his beard and started stroking it, giggling a bit with its feel on her skin. Steve smiled and relaxed. 

“I’m so happy you called,” Steve whispered.

“Sorry it took a while,” Nat replied. “Couldn’t get my mail earlier.”

Steve chuckled. Natasha moved her hand to his head near his temple and started brushing his hair back, giving him a light massage along the way.

“Not sleeping much, huh?”

Steve nodded and said, “Terribly missing you.”

Natasha smiled and Steve was proud to make her blush too.

“Come here,” Natasha whispered.

Steve scooted close to her and immediately buried his face in her chest. He could feel her lips and breath on his forehead. He wrapped his arms around her waist. He felt Natasha’s arm wrap around him too, while the other cradled the back of his head, gently carding his hair up and down. He pulled her close to him, desperately removing whatever space, distance that separated them. 

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Natasha whispered in his ear and tightened her hold on him.

“Be with me,” Steve whispered back, his lips lightly brushing against the skin on her neck.

“I thought you’d never, ask,” Natasha said.

Steve felt her smile on his forehead followed by a gentle, lingering kiss. 

Now Steve couldn’t wait for morning to come because no matter what tomorrow and the days ahead had in store for them, he knew he would be okay. Natasha was with him again. She was her rock and he instantly felt safer, stronger, braver.


	5. Dance With Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a man with regrets, especially when it comes to Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have been in a creative rut lately. I guess a lot of us are and understandably so with the pandemic and everything. I feel like I’m in limbo, believing that I would remain unmotivated to pursue anything until this is all over. Writing is difficult. Thinking how to start something while staring at the blinking cursor is intimidating and fearsome. Then having the strength, stamina, and will to reach the ending is another. 
> 
> Hats off to my fellow writers out there! If you find yourself in a creative rut right now, just be kind to yourself.

**************************************

Steve sat in a corner booth, blankly staring at his beer in hand. It was probably his eighth bottle that night, he was not sure. It did not matter to him anyway. It could have been his seventieth and yet he would not know the difference. He looked at the litter of bottles in front of him, around twenty in total but he could not tell how many of those were his and how many were hers. But the twelve shot glasses with vodka residue on the bottom were definitely hers. 

He looked around the bar nervously. Why she chose to wait for their contact there was beyond him. It was packed and all it would take was one random person posting one random photo online with them visible in the background and that would be it. Soon, Ross would be on asses again. It has been two months since their last run in with Ross’ hounds and Steve realized that after almost a year of running, it was the longest they had without any incident. And he, Sam, and Wanda agree that it was because of her. 

His eyes darted around the patrons. It was Friday night and the air was festive, people celebrating the end of their work week. Something of course Steve do not fully understand. He found no difference between Wednesday and Saturday. The largest and loudest of all the patrons was a group of stocky men who all could give him and Thor a run for their money. Then the rest were broken down into smaller group of friends like a couple who seemed to have set up another pair, whether that was going great or not, Steve could not tell.

The door opened and Steve’s guard automatically shot up. But he immediately relaxed when he saw her short blonde hair, black jacket and knee high boots. She definitely looked more relaxed than him, or at least she was hiding her anxiety better. She reached their table and sat across him, grabbing her half-empty bottle.

“So?” Steve asked.

“Relax, he’ll be here in twenty,” Natasha said with a smirk then taking a gulp from her bottle. “Sam texted too. Sent additional groceries to buy.”

Steve nodded and drank his beer. They left Sam to tend to the quinjet in the middle of the forest six miles north. It has been four months since Natasha rejoined them and Steve could not be happier to have her back by his side. It was not until recently that he realized how much he depended on her. And tonight was a testament to that. Their last encounter with Ross’ men dried up their ammo supply. It was a problem he never encountered before, the US Army and Tony Stark made sure he did not have to. But right now, there was only one place for a fugitive like him to get supply --- the black market --- and it was Natasha’s playground, not his. He unconsciously looked around again thinking of the million ways things could go wrong for meeting an illegal firearms dealer in a packed bar in a small town.

“Stop,” Natasha said softly. 

Steve looked at her and realized she must have seen and sensed his anxiety. What was he thinking, of course she sensed it.

“Why here?” Steve asked.

“Because look at you,” Natasha said with a chuckle.

Steve’s brows furrowed in confusion. Natasha gestured to his attire and his full beard before cocking her head to the group of stocky guys in the center of the bar. It was only then did he realized that he dressed and looked like them --- lumberjacks. The only difference was they looked like they were having the time of their lives while he looked miserable, sulking in a corner booth only saved by Natasha’s undeniable head-turning grace. 

Steve sighed and Natasha laughed. Steve saw the humor in it too and ended up laughing with her.

“Besides, this is the closest we can get to the US without Ross’ hounds getting a whiff so Wanda and Vision can spend some lovey-dovey time.”

“Lovey-dovey?” Steve asked, amused.

Natasha smiled and said, “What, don’t people use lovey-dovey anymore?” 

“I sure don’t,” Steve said with a smile. “Hey, did you ever see that coming? Wanda and Vision?”

“Yeah,” Natasha replied confidently which Steve did not immediately buy. Steve raised his eyebrows, challenging her. Natasha rolled her eyes and continued, “You didn’t? Vision always second-guessing and negotiating every combat move we tried teaching Wanda?”

Steve looked confused, “He is an AI. He has better risk assessment and calculations than any of us.”

“Steve, he was worried about Wanda. He didn’t want her to get hurt!”

“He was worried for all of us.”

“The girl has magic powers, Rogers! She can fly, well technically, she can bend things, she can control invisible particles --- she didn’t need an android to protect her.”

Steve’s mouth parted in the unmistakably ‘O’ of realization. Natasha fondly laughed at his naivete.

A waitress walked by and Natasha ordered burgers and fries for them. Steve had always been in awe at how Natasha can easily ease into, blend, and thrive in any situation, be it in a battlefield or a bar with strangers. Minutes later, their orders arrived and they continued to talk about their future moves. Ross’ last major hunting expedition was Natasha, something Steve was patiently waiting for her to share with him, and so they needed to be three or four steps ahead all the time.

Natasha was drawing up some plans and jotting down notes on a table napkin when the music changed and caught Steve’s attention. It sounded like a jazz music from the 40s, something that would excite Bucky and make him grab a girl in a pub to dance with him. 

“What?” Natasha asked and watched as Steve listened with a smile. But then the intro transitioned into the the first verse and it turned out to be a modern song with an old jazz flare. Steve’s smile dropped.

“Nothing. I just… I just thought I knew the song,” Steve said. 

He tried to bring his focus back on Natasha’s writing on the napkin but she snatched the napkin away and offered her hand to him. Steve looked at the hand then at her and her signature smirk, then back at the hand. 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it --- with me,” Natasha said with a smile and continued to hold out her hand to him. 

“Your guy might arrive any ---,”

“So what? He made us wait, what an hour? Surely he can wait for us to finish one dance,” Natasha said as she slid out of the couch and stood in front of him, holding her hand out to him again. Steve hesitated. 

“I’m not sure, I don’t know how to.”

“What? None sense. I’ve seen you fight,with those quick feet I assure, you’d be fine.”

“This isn’t a battlefield, Nat.”

“Isn’t? I don’t see the difference,” Natasha replied playfully.

It was true, at least for Natasha, who always treated every fight as a dance, dance to the death. He looked at her outstretched hand then up at her. She playfully wriggled her eyebrows at him, making him laugh.

“Alright,” Steve finally said and took Natasha’s hand. 

The moment he was out of the couch, Natasha pulled him to the dance floor where three other pairs were already having fun, twirling around.

“I can’t do that, don’t make me do that,” Steve said and pointed at the couple.

“You don’t have to,” Natasha comforted him as she guided his right hand to her back and rested her left hand on his shoulder. Then she raised her right hand to him, inviting him. Steve held it and gave Natasha a last ‘don’t-blame-me-if-I- step-on-your-feet’ look. Natasha smiled wider and started to sway --- small, quick ones. Steve simply followed her lead but kept looking down at their feet. 

“Relax, we’re basically just marching in place,” Natasha said with a soft laugh.

“Right. Just not the marching I’m used to.”

That made Natasha laugh out loud and it caught Steve by surprise. He cannot remember the last time he heard her laugh like that or if she ever laughed like that before at all. Either way, he smiled with pride for making her laugh like that.

To Steve’s surprise, he got the hang of it easily, the rhythm and tempo. Natasha was clearly having fun but he cannot help but glance at the doors once in a while. Natasha noticed it.

“You know I have done this before, right?” Natasha asked.

“What, dancing? Of course.”

“Being a fugitive, silly,” Natasha said with a chuckle.

Steve smiled at her. 

“So can you please trust me when I say that no men in bad suits or ski masks are gonna ruin our dance. I’m not gonna let them,” Natasha said with a smile. It was not her usual sly smirk, it was soft and vulnerable. 

The music was halfway through when Natasha led them to turn. Natasha must have sensed he panicked a bit because she immediately gently squeezed his shoulder. When he realized they were still basically marching in place while slowly turning around in a circle, he relaxed again. 

He looked at Natasha and found her to be just staring at him with fondness. Natasha’s abilities at deception had always intrigued him and admittedly, even made him uncomfortable at times. Most liars were betrayed by their eyes, but Natasha’s never seemed to waver. But if there was one thing he discovered after years of partnership with her, was that she was nothing but transparent to him. Probably, the only other man next to Barton that she ever let in. 

Partnership. 

The word reverberated in his mind. He once said he was waiting for the right partner. Until now, he believed that to be Peggy and had he lived and shared life experiences with her in her time, she definitely was the right partner for him. But he was not in Peggy’s time anymore, wasn’t he. He was in Natasha’s.

Shared life experience. 

With the exception of Bucky, Natasha was the only other person with whom he shared a life’s worth of experiences. 

Steve looked at Natasha again, into her eyes, as these realizations hit him hard, right at that moment. Natasha sensed it and her brows furrowed with worry.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Steve slowly smiled and shook his head. “Nothing. Just realized something.”

“Thinking while dancing is not recommended,” Natasha joked. “Like beer and vodka, unless what you’re after is a guaranteed hangover.”

“Beer and vodka?” Steve asked, his eyebrows raised then he shot a glance at their table littered with beer bottles and shot glasses.

Natasha feigned coolness and said, “I’m Russian, Rogers. I’m an exception. Just… go with the flow, old man.”

Steve laughed and challenged her, “Really? Go with the flow? Is that what you should tell your student? Lesson number one --- go with the flow?”

“Yeah. We both know I’m the fun kind of teacher.”

“Alright then. Whatever happens, it’s your fault,” Steve said with a smug smile.

Then without any warning, he held Natasha’s right hand up high and twirled her, twice! Natasha laughed in surprise and before she could say anything or tease him, Steve then lowered her for a dip, like a serious, low dip that her short hair was just a couple of inches from the floor. It took Natasha a second to recover from the shock and then just ended up laughing and giggling at the same time. Steve again was taken by surprise, this by Natasha’s genuine giggling, that he held her in that position for a few seconds. As far as he knew, the Black Widow never giggled, not unless the mission called for it. 

“Alright, Rogers, you’ve proved your point. You’re a quick learner. Now pull me up,” Natasha said in between laughs.

Steve finally recovered from his surprise and helped her upright.

“Not bad, Rogers! Not bad at all!”

“Thanks,” Steve said shyly, his cheeks turning pink now. For some reason, he cannot take his eyes off her. He just stared at her with awe and adoration as she straightened her jacket and pushed away hair strands from her sweaty face. She was smiling and what Steve can only describe as glowing.

He did not understand what came over him that when he held her again by the waist, he pulled her closer to him that she was able to drape her left arm around his shoulder this time and her palm now rested on his nape. They went back to simply marching and turning in place but clearly, it was different for Steve this time. Like a light bulb lighting somewhere or that he felt like yelling ‘Eureka’ or something. 

Steve reveled that moment. It felt like something inside him opened up. He did not understand it yet but at that moment he and Natasha were like the music, one solid and harmonious relationship between an old and modern souls. 

He felt Natasha inched closer to him that there literally was no more space between them and he could feel her thumb slowly moving up and down by the side of his nape. He took a deep breath in and completely wrapped his arm around her waist. He looked down at her with a nervous smile and found her staring straight back at him. There was no smile but he saw in her eyes she was nervous as him.

“Go with the flow?” Steve asked with his dopey smile.

Natasha finally smiled back and nodded. Steve dropped his forehead and touched it against hers and closed his eyes. One with the music, one with her.

He did not expect it to feel this right, with her. He never imagined she would be so right for him. How in the world he did not realize it sooner? 

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” 

Steve opened his eyes and looked down. Natasha gone from his arms, and so was the rest of the bar. He was in the middle of darkness but it did not surprise or scared him. But it made him sad though, like a child who is told that playtime is over. The darkness started to dissipate and he saw his Brooklyn living room slowly emerging from the shadows, bringing him back to reality. 

"Sorry, I have to go soon,” Wanda’s soft voice further pulling him back.

Old Steve fully opened his eyes and sat up from the couch from where he had by lying down for the past thirty minutes. 

“Strange called, he needs me back at Kamar-Taj.”

“Of course, don’t worry about it,” Steve said with a smile.

Wanda had been learning a lot from Strange. She discovered ‘corners’ of her powers that she never thought existed and that led her to even more ‘corners’. One of those ‘corners’ was reality manipulation. She still had so much to learn, Strange even telling her that they barely scratched the surface her true powers. Thinking how deep her powers went scared Wanda to the bones. 

When she told Steve, during one of her many visits, Steve immediately manifested interest in it but it took a while before he opened up to Wanda the reason behind his fascination. 

All this time Wanda thought Steve was happy, well, in a sense, having gone back in time to be with Peggy. Only when Steve told her to use her powers on him that Wanda realized that Steve was an old man plagued with regrets, with ‘what ifs’ and, ‘what might have beens’. 

Steve asked her to dive into his memory, pluck certain events in his life and use her powers to turn those into reality and put him back there so he could relive them. It was not as simple as joggling his memory and vividly replaying it over and over again. Steve was not having memory or cognitive problems. It was like creating a pocket reality from an altered memory in a contained space and time, which in Steve’s case, was in his Brooklyn apartment.

Then Steve would go through those moments to explore the other possibilities and witness the million possible consequences had he made a different choice than he did in the past. 

It was like Stark’s B.A.R.F but better, more real in every way. It was like the Mirror Dimension but with a very specific and separate reality playing out.

One of the first memories Steve asked to relive was the last time Tony asked him to sign the Sokovia Accords. He wanted to see what would have happened if he did. Then there were those memories of them in missions, wanting to see how it would turn out if he gave a different order or used a different strategy. 

Once inside the memory or reality, Steve only had control up to the point he makes a decision since it was basically just history playing out as it did. But everything that happens after that was entirely out of his control, even Wanda’s. All she could do was watch. Whatever consequences came after Steve’s ‘alternate’ decision were the results of how powerful and complex the pocket reality he was in that it seemed to breath and live on its own, with events unfolding organically and true. 

When Wanda realized that she can ‘birth’ multiple realities, even she feared herself. But she continued to doing it whenever Steve requested. It was the least she could do for him. The risks were huge but so was Steve’s trust in her.

“I won’t be back until next month,” Wanda said as she got ready to leave.

“That’s alright. Bucky will be home by next week, said he and Sam might have some days off,” Steve said with a smile.

“That’s great! Go to the beach or something,” Wanda teased.

They both laughed. 

“Can I ask you something?” Wanda said.

“Anything.”

“You never asked to go through the same memory twice, except for that one. That was what --- the fourth time. Why?”

Steve did not respond. He only smiled and bowed his head.

“Actually, I think I know why,” Wanda said then paused to take a deep breath before continuing, “because that was the biggest regret you have, probably bigger than the Accords or anything else really.”

Steve looked at her with the saddest smile Wanda’s ever seen on him and said, “I said ‘no’ to her. I did not dance with her that night nor any other night.”

Wanda’s heart sank and she did not know what to say. She just sighed and reached out to hold Steve’s wrinkly hands.

“I was so caught up with my lost chances with Peggy and not belonging in this time that I failed to see anything else, or anyone,” Steve said and sighed. “There was something there, right? Between me and Nat?”

“Absolutely,” Wanda immediately said and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Had I danced with her that night… if only I had those realizations about us… things might have ended differently.”

“In what way?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have abandoned her for one. She wouldn’t have been so lonely in the last five years of life.”

“You can’t tell that for sure.”

“Maybe. But at least she wouldn’t be alone… all by herself in the compound,” Steve said, his voice quivering as he tried to stifle his cry. “I probably wouldn’t have sent her to get the stone ---”

And with that Steve broke down. He once thought sending Natasha on a separate mission from his that time was his biggest regret but he realized that sometimes it is the smallest things cut the deepest. Like declining a friend’s invitation to dance. 

“Steve,” Wanda whispered, clueless as to how comfort him. 

Steve took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “It’s okay, Wanda.I’m okay.”

“Maybe we should stop doing ---”

“No,” Steve cut her off, pleading. “Please, no.”

Wanda nodded in understanding. She sat beside him and soothed him by running her hand up and down his back. She knew it would probably not help but at least she tried. Eventually, Steve calmed down.

“Alright, I’m okay now. Sorry for that,” Steve said with a soft smile.

“Don’t apologize. I miss her too, you know. We all do.”

Steve nodded in agreement.

“Okay, I better go. Promise, I’ll be back,” Wanda said and stood up. Steve nodded to her and she went on to make a portal using her Sling Ring. But before she stepped through she turned to Steve and asked, “If Nat did not die, do you think you still would have gone back in time?”

The question surprised Steve. Clearly, he had not thought about it before. Would he? He did somehow leave Bucky behind when he chose to go back to Peggy. Would he have stayed for Nat?

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted.

“I think you would still go,” Wanda said with a smile. “You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because Nat would make you. I don’t think nobody here knew and understood the true you that way she did. She knew life with Peggy was that one thing that would make you happy.” 

Wanda paused as she herself remembered Natasha fondly, the big sister she never knew she wanted and needed. 

Steve himself was speechless, realizing how right Wanda was. From his first mission in New York in 2012 until the last with the Infinity Stones, Natasha was the one constant thing in all of it. Yes, she was not there during the final battle but she got him there, all of them.

Steve managed a smile and looked at Wanda again, who was also teary-eyed herself. 

“I think Nat cared for you the most… well, there’s Clint and his family, but I believe you certainly comes next,” Wanda said with a chuckle. She gave Steve one last smile before finally stepping through the portal and disappearing behind it as it closed. 

Steve’s smile did not disappear even after Wanda did. Natasha was his sad and happy pill at the same time. The others might think that reliving those moments with Natasha was unhealthy but not for him. He knew he could not change any of it anymore but he would at least try, if not in another timeline, then in some corner of his mind with the use of magic. 

The End.


End file.
